I will fix your vibe-coded MVP

You delivered your vision quickly using one of the many excellent LLM-based coding tools, users are happy, but:

• You keep getting hacked, or are worried you will
• The coding tool isn’t able to handle a specific feature or bug, and you don’t know why
• The codebase is scaring away people you want to hire
• You have performance issues you don’t understand

I will dig you out of this hole and get you back to delighting users.

FAQ

Is this parody? Do you hate LLMs?

No, I will actually do this for you. I will almost certainly use Claude to help me. However, with nearly 25 years of commercial programming experience and the best software-engineering education money can buy, I know when Claude is full of shit, and can get it back on track.

Is this a thinly-veiled jab at people vibe-coding?

It is not. I am genuinely pleased for you that you were able to get the MVP in to the hands of customers as quickly as possible. I would love to now solidify the foundation on which your budding business is being built.

What makes you, specifically, good at this?

A lot of my professional career has been fixing codebases powering successful businesses in the dot-com era, that had been hastily assembled by students or the lowest-possible-cost offshoring teams. Mostly in Perl. This is exactly the same problem set.

OK, what can you do

I would prefer to work with TypeScript or JavaScript. I can be useful in Python, PHP, and Perl. I can fix your deployment and security issues, your database issues, your front-end or backend code, and replace the poorly-thought-through tests your coding agent wrote with ones that will meaningfully test actual functionality.

Next steps?

I charge $250/hr. You can email me at [email protected].